33 The Whisper Test
耳语测试
I grew up knowing I was different, and I hated it. I was born with a cleft palate , and when I started to go to school, my classmates—who were constantly teasing—made it clear to me how I must look to others: a little girl with a misshapen lip, crooked nose, lopsided teeth, and hollow and somewhat garbled speech. I couldn"t even blow up a balloon without holding my nose, and when I bent to drink from a fountain , the water spilled out of my nose.
成长的过程中，我一直知道自己和别人不一样，我讨厌这样。我天生唇腭裂，上学后，那些时常取笑我的同学们让我清楚地看到了别人眼中的自己：一个嘴唇畸形、鼻子扭曲、牙齿歪斜、讲话漏风且有些含糊不清的小女孩。要是不捏住鼻子，我甚至连只气球都吹不起 来。当我俯身从喷嘴式饮水器喝水时，水会从我的鼻孔里漏出来。
When my schoolmates asked, "What happened to your lip?" I"d tell them that I"d fallen as a baby and cut it on a piece of glass. Somehow it seemed more acceptable to have suffered an accident than to have been born different. By the age of seven I was convinced that no one outside my own family could ever love me, or even like me.
当同学们问起“你的嘴唇怎么啦？”我会告诉他们我婴儿时摔了一跤，嘴唇被玻璃片给割豁了。说因意外所致似乎比说先天异样更容易被人接受。到了七岁，我已经深信，出了家门没有一个人会爱我，甚至都不会喜欢我。
And then I entered the second grade, and Mrs. Leonard"s class. She was round and pretty and fragrant, with shining brown hair and warm dark eyes that smiled even on the rare occasions when her mouth didn"t.Everyone adored her. But no one came to love her more than I did.
后来我升入二年级，进了伦纳德夫人的班。她身材丰满，长相靓丽，浑身散发着芳香，还有着一头亮泽的棕发和一双热情的黑眼睛。即便是偶尔嘴上不笑的时候，她那双眼睛里也会流露出微笑。每个人都喜欢她，但没人比我更爱她。
The time came for the annual "hearing tests" given at our school. I was barely able to hear anything out of one ear, and was not about to reveal yet another problem that would single me out as different. And so I cheated. I had learned to watch other children and raised my hand when they did during group testing. The "whisper test" however, required a different kind of deception : Each child would go to the door of the classroom, turn sideways, close one ear with a finger, and the teacher would whisper something from her desk, which the child would repeat. Then the same thing was done for the other ear. I had discovered in kindergarten that nobody checked to see how tightly the untested ear was being covered, so I merely pretended to block mine. As usual, I was last, but all through the testing I wondered what Mrs. Leonard might say to me. I knew from previous years that she whispered things like "The sky is blue" or "Do you have new shoes?"
学校一年一度的“耳语测试”时间到了。我有一只耳朵几乎听不见任何声音，但我不打算暴露又一个会使自己被归为异类的问题。所以我作弊了。在集体测试中，我学会了观察其他孩子的动作，当他们举手时，我也跟着举起手。然而“耳语测试”却需要另一种完全不同的骗术：每个孩子都要走到教室门口，侧过身，范文，用手指堵住一只耳朵，然后老师在她桌子的位置轻声细语，再让孩子复述。另一只耳朵也要同样来一遍。早在上幼儿园的时候，我就发现其实没有人会检查你该捂住的那只耳朵捂得有多严实，因此我只是假装堵住了自己的耳朵。和往常一样，我是最后一个。但在整个测试期间我都在琢磨伦纳德夫人可能会对我说些什么。我打探到前几年她低语的都是“天空是蓝色的”或者“你有新鞋子么？”之类的话。
My turn came up. I turned my bad ear to her plugging up the other solidly with my finger, then gently backed my finger out enough to be able to hear. I waited and then heard the words that changed my life forever. Mrs. Leonard, the pretty, fragrant teacher I adored, said softly, "I wish you were my little girl."
轮到我了。我将听力不好的那只耳朵转向她，同时用手指紧紧塞住了另一只耳朵，之后又悄悄把手指头向外放开了一些，足够能听清声音。我等着，然后听到了改变我一生的一句话。伦纳德夫人，这位我所热爱的美丽的、芳香的老师轻轻地对我说：“真希望你是我的小女儿。”
(By Mary Ann Bird )
